I have rounded up these funny yoga quotes from various sources on the internet and social media, with a few from my own experience thrown in the mix
The worst thing you can do when practising yoga is take yourself too seriously. There’s even such a thing as laughter yoga nowadays. But I can find the humour in pretty much any yoga class.
And apparently, so can many others, as you’ll see in the following funny quotes. Yoga jokes may be a bit of a stretch (get it?), but here we go.
Whatever you do, please don’t roll your third eye at me.
Wanna hear some yoga quotes? I’m down, dog.
- Let’s start with this one, attributed to the yogi, Sadhguru:
“Yoga class helps me calm down from the agonizing stress of trying to get to yoga class on time.”
I can relate to that one all too well. I’m always rushing to yoga class, which seems ironic, doesn’t it?
Contents
What is Yoga?
2. I love this 4-yr old kid’s explanation of yoga:
- “What yoga really is: Spending an entire hour trying not to fart.” – Unknown
- “Yoga is 99% waste removal” — T.K.V Desikachar
- “Yoga is not about tightening your ass. It’s about getting your head out of it.” – Eric Paskel
Why Do Yoga?
- “I do yoga to burn off the crazy.” – Unknown
- “Yoga. Because punching people is frowned upon.” – Unknown
- “Yoga is my favourite way to pretend to work out.” – Unknown
- “I bend so I don’t break.” – Unknown
- “Yoga is not about tightening your ass. It’s about getting your head out of it.” – Eric Paskel
- “It’s funny when people think ‘yoga people’ are supposed to be calm. No. We’re all here because we’re nuts!” – Unknown
- “I do Yoga to relieve stress… Just kidding I drink wine in yoga pants.” – Unknown
- “A day without yoga is like a sundae without sprinkles” – Emma Mildon
On Yoga and Meditation
- “I meditate and do yoga. I sit cross-legged and try not to levitate too much.” – Jeremy Brett
- “I talked to a wild group last night. I knew it the minute someone yelled ‘Louder!’ during the silent meditation. – Robert Orben”
- “Meditation, because some questions can’t be answered by Google.” – Inner Balance Wear
- One meditator to another: Are you not thinking what I’m not thinking? – Unknown
- “I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment.” – Gautama Buddha
What the Stars Say about Yoga
- “I do an hour’s yoga and go running every day. Then I see a picture of myself and I still look like a skinny, pot bellied idiot — and I thought I had turned into this superhunk!” – Chris Martin
- “When I’m under stress, I do yoga. It’s when I’m happiest that I have a problem with junk food.” – Britney Spears
- “I think yoga should be for everyone, not just the folks who change their name to something Hindu.” – Tara Stiles
And my favourite:
- “I like tea and yoga, but I don’t do yoga.” – Moby
In Case You Were Wondering…
- “How to get a yoga body: 1. Have a body 2. Do yoga.” – Unknown
- Any yoga I do is hot yoga. (I can relate to this one!) – Unknown
- “I’m not napping. This is savasana!” – Unknown
- “Sorry for what I said before I yoga-ed.” – Unknown
Yoga Pants
- “Yoga pants. Because jeans are stressful and you don’t need that in your life.” – Unknown
- “Some days you eat salads and do yoga. Some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. It’s called balance.” – Unknown
- “Three things that never lie: Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants.” – Unknown
Yoga Teachers Say the Darndest Things
- “An instructor once gave the following cue in yoga class: “Relax your pancreas.” I don’t even know where my pancreas is, never mind how to relax it! I giggled for the rest of the class.” – Mel Farrimond
- “Yoga instructor just emailed to say class is moved and thanks for our flexibility.” – Unknown
- I rang up a yoga instructor and asked which class I should take. She said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t do Tuesdays.” – Unknown
- “Me to my students every day: Close your eyes. If you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open.” – Unknown
A Few More Funny Yoga Quotes
- “I tried yoga once but took off for the mall halfway through class, as I had a sudden craving for a soft pretzel and world peace.” -Terri Guillemets
- “Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions rather than jumping to them.” – Unknown
- “Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured.” – B.K.S. Iyengar
- “When Chuck Norris does yoga, the sun salutes him.” – Unknown
- “Sign for a beginner’s yoga class: Enquire Within.” – Unknown
- “I remember when yoga was called Twister.” – Unknown
- “I got chucked out of yoga class after misinterpreting Half-Moon Pose.” – Unknown
- “Namastay 6 feet away.” – Unknown
Yoga Jokes
A couple of jokes to conclude.
What do yoga pants eat for dessert? Lululemon meringue pie.
Question: How many Iyengar yogis does it take to replace a light bulb?
Answer: Only one – but he will need a sticky mat, a backless chair, five blankets, a bolster, six ropes, two belts, six assorted benches, three weights, and a certificate.
The Final Word on Funny Yoga Quotes
So, there you have it. Yoga is not to be taken too seriously. Have some fun with it. You might even enjoy it!
I hope some of these quotes and jokes made you smile. After all, as Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Smiling is mouth yoga.”
